i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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