She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
