I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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