I queefed so loud it echoed.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
