i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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