he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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