I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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