Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
