He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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