I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
