If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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