You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
