haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
