You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
