i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
