Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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