He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
