My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So much rum. So many feels.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
