Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
