So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
