your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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