Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
