nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
