So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize