there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize