Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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