Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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