i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
