Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
last night I used snow as a chaser
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize