I think i peed on brittanys purse
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
