Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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