from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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