Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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