They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
