I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize