If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
