Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
