I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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