i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
