I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize