he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
