I want to have your abortion
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
