You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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