Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
