so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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