Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
