Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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