you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
