Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Bang-toberfest begins!!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
