im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
