Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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