Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
