She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Found the puke drawer
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
