i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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