Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
