i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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