She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
