I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
third nipple confirmed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
