this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
